How to deal with the overwhelming feeling of commencing a divorce – Heald Solicitors
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Divorce can be devastating and is always life changing. Coming to terms with the changes can cause anxiety and sometimes be overwhelming. You may feel alone and isolated at this time as your spouse who has been that go to person for the length of your relationship is now on the other side of the problem. This is a common conversation our family team hear when first meeting with clients. Often people simply need a guide to help them navigate this unchartered territory.

There are many things to consider when you are separating in preparation for divorce. Not least the consequence the divorce will have on you and your family. If you have children this adds to the complexity and thinking about how they should be treated during and after the separation early on is key.

If you are considering getting divorced here are some things that you should take into consideration:


Think about which aspects of your life you share with your spouse. Make a detailed note about all matters relevant to your finances. Keep a record of all assets and liabilities of the family and think about what you will need to continue living a comfortable life.

Be realistic with your proposals. Ensure that any proposals you consider are in your best interest (and your children, if you have children).

Agree in advance that you will both seek independent legal advice before committing to a proposal. Even if it seems amicable it is advisable to have the matter checked first.

Child matters

If there are children of the marriage, think about what proposals you would like to put forward for them. Where they will live? Access for the other parent? And of course finances. You may also wish to consider what you would like life to be like after the divorce. How will they continue contact with Grandparents or afterschool clubs.

Try and communicate with your spouse about reaching an agreement in relation to the children avoiding litigious court proceedings wherever possible.


Keeping a dialog going with your spouse during the journey will greatly reduce the cost, stress and time of the separation.
Try to take a neutral approach as you discuss the proposals so to reduce tension.
If communicating directly with your spouse is too difficult, consider attending mediation.
Many financial matters are settled before or during mediation; however, if mediation fails and you need to get solicitors involved to negotiate on your behalf the information you have recorded and prepared will help make the process easier for the whole family.
Once you have considered the above points, you will find that the divorce process is a lot easier not only to come to terms with but also to finalise and reach an amicable agreement.

Heald’s team of family law specialists are available to help you during this difficult period guiding you through your negotiation.  If you would like to discuss your situation why not book a fixed fee meeting with our family team on 01908 662277


You may also be interested in reading have you reached a a financial agreement?



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