Overwhelming feelings of divorce
How to deal with an overwhelming divorce
Divorce can be devastating and is always life-changing. Coming to terms with the changes can cause anxiety and sometimes be overwhelming. You may feel alone and isolated at this time. Your spouse, who has been that “go to” person for the duration of your relationship is now the problem. The is a frequent conversation with our family team during the initial meeting. Often people simply need a guide to help them navigate this uncharted territory.
There are many things to consider when you are separating in preparation for divorce. Not least the consequence the divorce will have on you and your family. If you have children, this adds to the complexity and thinking about how they should be treated during and after the separation early on is key.
If you are thinking about getting divorced here are some things that you should take into consideration:
Think about which aspects of your life you share with your spouse. Make a detailed note about all matters relevant to your finances. Keep a record of all assets and liabilities of the family and think about what you will need to continue living a comfortable life.
Be realistic with your proposals. Ensure that any suggestions you consider are in your best interests (and your children, if you have children).
Agree in advance that you will both seek independent legal advice before committing to a proposal. Even if it seems amicable, it is advisable to have the matter checked first.
If there are children of the marriage, think about what proposals you would like to put forward for them. Where will they live? Access for the other parent? And of course, finances. You may also wish to consider what you would like life to be like after the divorce. How will they continue contact with Grandparents or after school clubs?
Try and communicate with your spouse about reaching an agreement concerning the children avoiding court proceedings wherever possible.
Keeping a dialogue going with your spouse during the journey will significantly reduce the cost, stress and duration of the legal process.
Try to take a neutral approach as you discuss the proposals so to reduce tension.
If communicating directly with your spouse is too hard, consider mediation.
Many financial matters are settled before or during mediation; however if mediation fails and you need to get solicitors involved to negotiate on your behalf the information you have recorded and prepared will help make the process easier for the whole family.
Once you have considered the above points, you will find that the divorce process is a lot easier not only to come to terms with but also to finalise and reach an amicable agreement.
Heald’s team of family law specialists are available to help you during this challenging period guiding you through your negotiation.